all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
