If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
