my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
