all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
