Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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