Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
