why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
