Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize