I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
