we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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