I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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