I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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