After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
