saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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