and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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