I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
