No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
