No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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