I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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