it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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