Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
