Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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