you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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