best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
