maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
