Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
