I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
