I accidentally had phone sex last night
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
