i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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