i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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