Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
