Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize