i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
