4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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