How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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