physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
