I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
