its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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