Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
