and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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