bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
