OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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