My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
