Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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