Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize