Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
