OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
