Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
