Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
