I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he shaved USA in his pubs
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Found your dick twin last night
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
