I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize