Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
