that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
