If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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