can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
