party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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