i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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