She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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