People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize