This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
