i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize