I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
